How two words can mean so much and might bring up so many conflicting feelings….
Having grown up in a society where working hard and independence were associated with success in life, the words self-care were avoided, neglected or ignored. Filling my cup came from giving it my all and enjoying the products that might come out of hard work and to do lists.
As a new mom I was told: rest when your baby is resting, wise words, but there was so much to do! Besides our oldest, I also took care of my friends baby, and there was always more that I could do. There were plenty of feelings of accomplishment, but also impatience, frustration or even hopelessness at times.
Life became more busy when our twins were born, now we had 3 children under the age of 2 years. When I asked how to make sure the oldest would still receive enough attention the pediatrician mentioned to make sure that she had 10 minutes undivided attention each day. This did not always happen, and I remember several occasions trying to give her my undivided attention while the twins were fussing, or jumping and giggling in their cribs, ready for play time. I tried to do it all, and did not succeed.
When family or friends would visit, they would shake their heads and offer help, which I had to learn to accept. It took me years!
Fast forward; it is August 2021 and we are still in the middle of a pandemic. The children have moved out, the husband works from home and I have been working at our local clinic. I have picked up tasks where co-workers couldn’t do them, and have been asked to step up by upper management in the clinic. “YES, of course”, my answer was, I wanted to make a difference. Those extra tasks have now been re-divided and I am starting to feel worn out.
I realize there is an end to my rope, I need to remind myself to take breaks, go for walks, even when the air is bad, swim in the local pool, kayak on the rivers in the weekend, and finally asked for professional help. This I realized, after I cried alone in my office during a meeting where we did a self-care exercise online. I have ignored my tiredness, stress, frustration and hopelessness for far too long.
I am learning.
When you recognize yourself in the story above, and are ready for a listening ear, an open conversation, and have a knowing that something has to change, please reach out. Reach out to someone you trust, or give me a call, I just might be the coach for you ❤